Kodi thinks he's Ice Cube
by CaptainROFL737
Summary: Just a short and stupid story where Kodi thinks he's Ice Cube. Rated M because of the use of the F-word and N-word in the lyrics, neither of which is used outside of the lyrics.


**Kodi Thinks He's Ice Cube**

**Unlike my other stories Kodi is straight.**

One of Kodi's favorite rappers of all time is Ice Cube. He listens to plenty of Ice Cube and NWA. However, he's starting to get a feeling that he is his second favorite rapper of all time. (Next to 2pac)

_"Straight outta Compton! _

_Crazy mother fucker named Ice Cube!_

_From a gang called Niggas With Attitude._

_When I'm called off_

_I got a sawed off…" Kodi sang._

He knew every word to Ice Cube's rap in that song. And plenty other songs too. Dusty was walking by. Kodi was too distracted rapping "Straight Outta Compton" and pretending to hold a mic to notice her.

_"AK-47 as a tool!_

_Don't make me like a mother fucking fool!_

_You and me can go toe to tow daily._

_We're knocking niggas out the box daily._

_Yo weekly, monthly, and yearly._

_Until the dumb mother fuckers see clearly_

_That I'm down_

_With a capital CPT._

_Boy you can't fuck with me!"_

"Kodi, I need to tell you something!" Dusty said.

"'Cuz Ice Cube is crazy as fuck!

As I leave, believe Ima stop and when I…"

"KODI!"

Kodi jumped to Dusty's yell.

"Yeah, Dusty?"

"We're getting really tired of the rapping! Can you please stop?"

"Yeah, sorry, Dusty. NWA is amazing!"

"I kinda figured that out. Kirby and Ralph are threatening to duct tape your muzzle."

"They wouldn't. I know them well enough."

"I don't know, Kodi. They do some crazy stuff!"

"Well, thanks for the warning."

Kodi walked off.

_"Here's a little something about a nigga like me._

_Never shoulda been let out the penitentiary._

_Ice Cube would like to say_

_That I'm a crazy mother fucker from around the way."_

Kendo, Kodi's brother Yukon's best friend, came up to Kodi. Kendo was also a big fan of NWA.

"How do you know Ice Cube's rap on so many songs?"

"I really don't know. I don't know Yella, Dr. Dre, MC Ren, and Eazy E's raps as well as I know his."

"Heh, well maybe you are Ice Cube."

Kendo walked away, leaving Kodi in question. Could it be possible that he was one of his own favorite rappers? Nah! It would to good to be true! Kodi went up to his brother Dingo.

"Well we got this faggot named Dingo over here!" he said.

"Little bitch that calls himself Kodi in the house!" Dingo replied.

Kodi and Dingo love each other so much.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"You were literally standing there doing nothing."

"Rap it!"

_"Here's a little gangster short in size_

_T-shirt and Levis his only disguise._

_Built like a tank yet hard to hit._

_Ice Cube and Eazy E come running shit."_ Kodi rapped.

_"Well I'm Eazy E the one they're talkin' about._

_Nigga tried to roll the dice that just crapped out._

_Police try to roll so it's time to go._

_I creep away real slow and jump in the 6-4."_ Dingo rapped.

"I don't know any more of Eazy E's rap," Dingo said, "How do you know all of Ice Cube's?"

"I don't know. Coincidence."

A random dog came up to them.

"Excuse me sir," he said to Kodi.

"Yeah?"

"You sound just like Ice Cube. I couldn't help but notice that."

"Really? I know almost all of his songs!"

"Heh, you should go rap some of his songs," he said as he walked off.

Kodi stood there with a smile on his face.

"Oh my God! I'm Ice Cube!"

"No you're not!" Dingo said.

"Don't deny it! I'm Ice Cube!"

Kodi grabbed a bunch of amps and a track player from the local music store. He's a dog, so the humans don't give a crap if he just carries all that out of the store. He set all the stuff up at the boiler room and started playing tracks of NWA and Ice Cube without the vocals. First song to come up was F tha Police

_"Fuck the Police coming straight from the underground._

_A young nigga got it bad 'cuz I'm brown._

_And not the other color so police think_

_They have the authority to kill a minority._

_Fuck that shit, 'cuz I ain't the one_

_For a punk mother fucker with a badge and a gun_

_To be beatin' on and throwing in jail,"_ Kodi sang.

Kodi had already drawn a huge crowd. Including Dusty and Jenna. Eventually Dingo joined too.

"How long had Kodi had such a colorful vocabulary?" Jenna asked.

Why did her own son have to be affiliated with that language and all the bad things NWA raps about?

"Kodi never had that bad of language until he's rapping. He's an angel when he's not rapping," Dusty said.

"Unless you're his closest brother. You see his idiotic and dangerous side," Dingo testified.

"Does he learn it from Kirby and Ralph?" Jenna asked.

The end of Ice Cube's rap in F tha Police came to and end and the song was cut off.

"Because I'm an ass, I'm going to dedicate this next song to

my brother Dingo, who I see out in the crowd!"

Kodi turned on "Check yourself."

_"You better check yo self before you wreck yo self_

_'Cuz I'm bad for yo health_

_I come real stealth._

_Dropping bombs on your moms…"_

_The irony of us having the same mom_, Kodi thought.

_"Fuck car alarms_

_Doin' foul crime_

_I'm that nigga that's wit'cha Alpine."_

Dusty had a thing for Kodi, but she never really thought much of it. But hell can he rap! He's so sexy and awesome when he's up there rambling lyrics!

"My brother's a douche bag," Dingo joked.

Nunivat squeezed her way through the dogs that were watching Kodi's performance. Damn near every dog in Nome is watching at this point! Kodi had to turn the amps up. Nunivat got to Dusty.

"Mate with my brother yet?"

Dusty gave Nunivat a look.

"I'm guessing that's a no."

_"Will I shoot you or keep dressin'?_

_'Cuz fuck you and that shit you keep stressin'_

_Bitch get off the wood, you're no good_

_There goes the neighborhood hooker!"_

Balto saw heard his son spewing out awful lyrics to a huge crowd of dogs. That's not good!

"Kodi, what did you get yourself into!?"

At the front of the crowd was Kirby, Ralph, Dingo, Nunivat, Dusty, and Jenna. Jenna? She really approved of this!? He could see Yukon and Saba making their way forward. That song ended.

"I'm gonna dedicate this next one to my girlfriend Dusty! By the way, how does it feel to be dating Ice Cube?"

Kodi was a little embarrassed to say the song.

"This next one is called Make it Ruff, Make it Smooth."

Balto pounded his paw onto his head.

"No! Kodi! You idiot!"

Dusty listened to the lyrics Kodi was saying. They were offensive! But… was that his way of getting his message out? Does he really think he's Ice Cube? She was so offended though! She left the crowd that was bumping her to go with Kodi. She walked by Balto.

"What's wrong with your son!? He not only thinks he's Ice Cube, but he's acting all… perverted."

"He thinks he's Ice Cube? Is that what this is about?"

Kodi saw Dusty walk away and walk into the forest.

"What is she doing?"

He finished the song anyway.

"Hey guys, I gotta go check on Dusty. I gotta cut the performance short."

There were moans of disappointment throughout the crowd.

"I know, I'm sorry."

Kodi jumped off the stage monitor he was standing on and chased down Dusty. She was a good distance into the forest.

"Dusty wait!"

"Forget it Kodi!"

Dusty just walked faster.

"I'm sorry, Dusty! I thought you'd like me to rap a song about you!"

"Not like that! It was about mating! I didn't appreciate that one bit!"

Dusty didn't slow her pace.

"Dusty! Please!"

Dusty stopped in her tracks.

"Kodi! You think you're Ice Cube!"

"I am Ice Cube!"

"You're an idiot! That's what you are!"

She started going again.

"I'm sorry Dusty!"

"It's me or the rap career! Which do you choose!?"

"You can't do that to me!"

"I can and am! Which do you choose?"

Dusty stopped again, and Kodi had to think.

"Well, how do you feel about me being a talented rapper? I'm fricken Ice Cube!"

Dusty's angered eyes met Kodi's.

"Do you really want to know how I feel!?"

She pushed and restrained him against a tree.

"This is how I feel!"

Her lips met his and her tongue touched his. Kodi didn't expect that! Woah! She gripped him and pushed her weight against him, forcing him more into the tree.

"Dusty! Woah! I…"

"Shut up, Kodi! Get on your back!"

Kodi fell onto his back and let Dusty overtake him. Before he knew it, he was inside her.

"I sure hope Dusty doesn't kick his ass," Dingo said.

"She would. He wouldn't touch her," Yukon agreed.

Balto was panicked. His son has gone insane! He pissed off his girlfriend! He could've screwed his life up!

"Have you boys seen Kodi?" Balto asked his other two sons.

"He chased Dusty through the forest, I saw him," Nunivat said.

"She's bound to beat the shit out of him," Dingo said.

"I'd kill that bitch if she does!" Balto said unable to hold those words back.

Dusty dried up the well. She took all Kodi could give. He never thought he'd feel the moment, but he did! His neck was wet with Dusty's saliva.

"Oh Kodi!"

She couldn't lift herself off of him.

"Ah! Dusty! I… I love you so much!"

"I love you too, Kodi!"

Man! What a good day this turned out to be!

"I can't believe it! Today was a good day!"

Dusty continued to lick Kodi's face and neck.

"Kodi! Dusty! Where are you guys?" Balto called.

"Uh oh!" Dusty cried.

Balto turned the corner to see Dusty on top of his son.

"Kodi! Way to go! I'm proud of you, son!"

Kodi was surprised Balto wasn't mad at him. He was proud of him!

"Thank you, Dusty!" Balto said, "Thanks for making my son happy! Thanks for mating with him!"

Dusty couldn't believe Balto was happy with this either.

"Yeah, Balto! You're welcome! He was fun to mate with!"

"Come here, Dusty! I want to talk you!"

"Alright."

Balto and Dusty walked off talking. Kodi started rapping.

_"Just waking up in the morning, gotta thank God!_

_I don't know, but today seems kinda odd._

_No barking from the dog, no smog._

_And momma cooked breakfast with no hog."_

Kodi jumped into a green '64 Impala with the top down and hydraulics.

_"Finally got a call from a girl I wanna dig out._

_Hooked it up for later as I hit the door._

_Thinking I will live another 24._

_I gotta go 'cuz I got me a drop top._

_And if I hit the switch, I can make the ass drop."_

Today was a great day for Kodi. He discovered he's one of his favorite rappers, he got the girl he wanted, and he got the fame of the dogs in Nome!

_"I got a beep from Ki… Dusty, and she can fuck all night."_

Kodi drove the streets of Nome rapping the song and driving through just like Ice Cube did in the video. Except Ice Cube drove the streets of LA and Compton. He remembered something! Ralph's gonna be PISSED! He had his eye on Dusty too!

Kodi changed his course and headed to the boiler room, kicking up snow as the wheels on the Impala spun. When he got to the boiler room, he jumped out and kept his cool as he went through the door.

"There he is!" Kirby said, "The lucky guy!"

"Hey Kirby! Where's Ralph?"

Kodi felt a paw on his shoulder. He turned his head to see it was Ralph. Well, it was a good day.

"Kodi," Ralph said.

"Yeah, Ralph?"

Ralph threw Kodi onto the ground.

"She was mine! I had her! You stole her from me! Your fake ass is lying and calling itself Ice Cube! You're not Ice Cube you dumbass!"

"You're just jealous because I'm a famous rapper, and I got the girl you wanted!"

"Well you know what!?"

Ralph pulled Kodi and gave him a bro-hug.

"Congrats, Kodi! I'm proud of you!"

Kodi couldn't believe how Ralph just let it go like that. How is everything lining up his way?

"Thanks Ralph! You're not mad?"

"Of course I am! But… you got her fair and square. Good job!"

"See if you were asexual like me, you wouldn't have to deal with this!" Kirby said.

Kirby has absolutely no interest in being in a relationship.

"Today was a good day!"

A few hours later, Balto came to Kodi, and pulled him aside to talk. They walked towards Balto's boat.

"Kodi, I need to tell you something."

"How is it having a famous rapper for a son?"

"That's the problem. Kodi, you're not Ice Cube."

Kodi ignored that.

"That's what everyone's been saying. Even Dusty."

"You really think everyone thought you were Ice Cube? They were just impressed by your impression of him.

"What?"

"I hate having to be the one to tell you, son. You're not Ice Cube."

"So…"

Kodi's ears dropped. He knew it was to good to be true.

"Today wasn't staged was it? I've had one of the greatest days of my life. Dusty mated with me, Ralph doesn't give a crap, I got fame and fortune, was it a one time thing?"

"No, Kodi. Don't worry. Dusty really loves you. I can't talk for Ralph though. If he hurts you, I'll kill him!"

"Thanks dad!"

Kodi sighed.

"I'm really not Ice Cube?"

"If you were, we'd all be millionaires. But we're not."

"Oh…"

"Can you also please stop using the n-word?"

"I only say it when I rap."

"Well, you need to calm down on the rapping."

Kodi nudged Balto.

"I will dad. Thanks for telling me now."

Balto decided to tell Kodi something else.

"You're part wolf."

"What!?"

**The end!**


End file.
